take me back to neverland.

i don't want to grow up. i don't know where to go with my life right now.

i don't know if i'm more blown away by my conversations with 7th and 8th graders during school each day or the ones with the adults around me.

alcohol. sex. pregnancy. guns. rape.

think those are my conversations with the adults? wrong. those are the ones with the kids.

its insane. i don't know where these kids are coming from. none of this mess was even remotely on my radar in middle school. heck, none of it was on my radar in high school!

healthy eating. family planning. careers. church. finances

these are the subjects of conversations with the adults. i'm not blown away by these in a negative sense... more surprised in a good way by how coworkers have opened up, how they ask for my opinion even though i feel like a kid playing teacher, how they listen and ask questions.

i feel stuck in this weird limbo place. at work, i'm a grown-up: an equal to the teachers, an authority figure to the kids. outside of work, i'm fighting to stay young and fun: a big kid.

i don't know how well its working.