Summer is here and I'm loving it! One of my favorite things to do is grab a good book and head to the pool.
I've been reading Jodi Picoult NONSTOP so far! Seriously, I read 3 of hers in the first week of summer. I love that her books are about real life.. about the hard things- rape, bullying, dysfunctional families, illnesses, imperfections, etc. But there's always a story about caring about others in it whether it be about family, or friends, or just people we meet. We never know someone's whole story until we care to ask.
She has 18 books out and I plan to finish them all! Songs of the Humpback Whale Harvesting the Heart Picture Perfect Mercy The Pact Keeping Faith Plain Truth *currently reading Salem Falls Perfect Match Second Glance My Sister's Keeper Vanishing Acts The Tenth Circle Nineteen Minutes Wonder Woman: Love and Murder Change of Heart Handle with Care House Rules
I just recently bought a kindle and am SO excited about it. I think it will save me a lot of money in the long run on books and it will save me a ton of room on my bookshelves!
i can't believe i have been out of college for a year! i graduated a year ago! whoa.
what a crazy year too.
i have moved twice (including major cities), started two different jobs, taken some fun trips, seen some incredible concerts, said goodbye to hurt, made some good friends, learned to like sushi and laughed with some crazy kiddos.
the last year has only pushed me to love people harder and show the people i care just how much i do. i had a ton of fun being with the people important to me and enjoyed it all... even when it was hard.
i have seen hurt and betrayal in the last year. i have walked through things i would never wish upon anyone. and i made it.
i can only hope the next year is a hundred times calmer. however, i will most likely move again. and i will semi-start a new job too (same job, different school). and i will probably make a very grown-up purchase. can i go back to college yet? yikes.
my 7th graders survived TAKS testing two weeks ago. last week started 8th grade Remediation for the kiddos needing a second try at it. they've been working SO hard. i hate that their promotion to high school depends on a test and some of them missed it the first time by just one question, but most of them are really motivated to get it this time so its be pretty cool to see them remain optimistic instead of defeated.
on the same note, their optimism has been a little contagious in the job hunt for me. as the school year draws near to an end, i'm still looking for a full-time teaching position for the 2010-2011 school year. aaaaand, as of this morning, i have an interview for one on thursday! a lot of small pieces have fallen into place so well for this interview that its hard not to have my hopes up, but i know it will work out either way.
that's about all i've got... my summer plans are a little up in the air as of now. mostly just waiting to see about the fall.
one of my goals in life is to travel to every state in the united states. i'm not sure why i came up with it... it was some time in elementary school actually.
last weekend, i got to cross one more state off of my list! i've officially have traveled to 25 states... halfway there!
anyway, i got to take a 3 day weekend to visit one of my closest friends, krystal, in california! she is going to grad school at pepperdine university in malibu and will be graduating in may before moving back to texas!
krystal and i grew up in the same town, but never crossed paths, which is crazy because it felt like everyone knew everyone else growing up. we had several mutual friends and heard of each other, but never met. we ended up in the same christian sorority during college and finally met face-to-face at a halloween party my freshman year. our friendship slowly grew during my freshman and sophomore years. during my junior year (her senior year) we got to become really close and traveled home together for holidays and hung out a lot more. i was sad to see her move all the way to california after she graduated. over the last two years, we got better at being phone and email friends considering we've only seen each other at christmas both years.
it was so much fun being able to take a weekend to go see where she lives and what she's been up to! she lives in santa monica and took me to see all the fun touristy sights in the area. a great way to check off another state!
krystal and i on our bus tour of famous hollywood homes :)
"They take pictures of the mountain climbers at the top of the mountain. They are smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don’t take pictures along the way cause who wants to remember the rest of it? We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level – nobody takes pictures of that, nobody wants to remember. We just want to remember the view from the top, the breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That’s what keeps us climbing and it’s worth the pain, that’s the crazy part. It’s worth anything." -Grey's Anatomy
This quote at the end of the episode three weeks ago strikes me for two reasons: 1. Its about mountains. I use mountain-climbing as a metaphor for my life all the time. I have done some mountain climbing... The peaks, valleys, exhaustion, struggle, clarity, etc of physically climbing a mountain hold great parallels to the feelings of my heart when it comes to real life things. 2. The metaphor of only wanting to remember the picture at the top of the mountain and not wanting to record the hurt of the hike resounds deep within my heart right now. I have been trying for weeks to finish a post about my life... to record the days. But, quite frankly, I haven't wanted a written record of the hurt and struggle of some of the days. I've just been waiting for that peak mountain-top experience so I could write about the good and have that to come back to. However, I've decided in life that the hard days are worth remembering. You can't truly cherish each good thing if you know no hardship right? Recording the hard days does great good for me. It pushes me to move forward and strive towards good days again. It shows progress. It helps remember lessons and holds little reminders to not repeat the hard stuff intentionally.
I hope I get better about recording daily things. For I don't think its so much about the destination in life as it is about the means of the journey. So whether it be on the way up to the gorgeous mountain-top or tripping on the way down, I want to know how I got there.
this is not a new discovery. i've known this for, oh, about 20 years now. but its been on my mind recently.
you see, i can literally count on two hands the number of people in my life who haven't walked away from me. and, yes, i know that most people are not meant to be in our life forever, but just for a season. but i have been dealt some tough blows when it comes to relationships and people walking away.. starting with my biological father who gave up all rights when i was two and a half.
i'm not writing about this for people to feel guilty if they've been in my life and aren't anymore. i'm not saying, "please feel bad for me." don't.
my point is this- they say we have two natural reactions to tough situations. we pick between "fight" and "flight." i think because all i've seen is "flight" in my life that its all i know to do. or knew how to do. that is, until college happened.
during my four years of college, i learned how to fight... for silly things like grades i may or may not have deserved, for a job i loved, for good friendships, for things i saw purpose in, and finally, for myself.
that last one, the fighting for myself, is the hardest piece. i think when so many people walk away without fighting for you, it can be hard to believe that you are actually worth the hurt and heartache of a fight. just in the last year have i learned to fight for myself and my worth. i learned that its not selfish to fight for yourself sometimes. if you don't fight for yourself, it can be even harder to fight for the things you care about. it is easy for me to forgo a battle on my own behalf and choose to fight for a thing or person that i love instead.
it is not in my nature to really give up either. i am stubborn and hard-headed and always have been. the difference is, those words used to describe things like my work ethic in school, or wanting something when my parents said no... small, trivial things. now, these qualities have expanded to the way that i fight for big things in my life too. i have found that i fight even past the point where most people quit. there are things that seemed to have ended, yet, daily, i still fight for small pieces of them.
