friend or foe? no?

friend-a person attached to another by feelings of affection; someone who gives support; a person you are on good terms with

community- a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural heritage; a social, religious, occupational or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived as distinct in some respect from the larger society

my preacher on sunday said, as christians, we need to find people who 1. love god and 2. love us and surround ourselves with them to live in authentic christ-like community.

i know there is a difference between the two groups of people in your life. your community includes friends, but not all of your friends are necessarily a part of your community. i don't know if my expectations are off or too high, but i've seen a lot of disconnect between how i define friends and the actions of my community. i have seen nonchristians act as better friends than christians. and i don't understand it.

i feel like there is such a huge push to be authentically christ-like that pursuing friendships has turned into seeking out people who are struggling so you can be jesus to them and help them out of their sin. i realize there is nothing actually wrong with that idea in itself. the disconnect is ocurring because the only purpose of the relationship is to get someone out of sin... not to grow in jesus and daily do life together. it is making people into projects and checking them off when they're done. if there is no healing after getting out of sin, then the issue will only happen again or manifest itself in another place.

i want my community to consist of people who don't want to just be in my life to help "fix me" to add another gold star to their resume, but people who want to support me in the good, hurt with me in the bad, inspire me to change for the right reasons, and spur me on daily. i define friends by loyalty, by laughter and simplicity, by realness and honesty, by safety and comfort, by love. i want to define my community by those things, with the addition of loving each other like jesus, challenging each other to act more as christ and spurring each other on daily.

do i have something off? am i missing something? how do i find more of this?