home is where the heart is

home- (n) a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household; the place in which one's domestic affections are centered; a person's native place or own country

what the heck are domestic affections?

i claim a few homes: league city, austin, west palm beach, windy gap

i claim these not because i reside there, not because i'm from there, but because i feel safe there. i'm surrounded by people i love and who love me in each of these places. there's a sense of warmth, security, and comfort in all of these places.

so when asked my plans for thanksgiving, i had a lot of friends who offered me an invitation to go along with them to be with their families since i wasn't going to be with mine. while i appreciated all of them and know i would have had a great time and been welcome at any of those places, it wasn't the point. i wanted to be in a place i felt at home at for my thanksgiving. so, i made my own thanksgiving dinner.

yes it was only a table set for two. but, i made almost everything by myself!! everything but the turkey and corn that is, i got some help from rudy's for that. i even made an apple pie from scratch! that was the point of my thanksgiving- being in a place i consider home. i got to share this meal with one of my best friends and then we went to watch the longhorns dominate on the field! it was a great thanksgiving!

counting down!

i graduate college in 272 days from today. oh my.

i feel stuck. as i begin my last fall semester, questions about post-college plans are already filling conversations. why do i need to know what i'm doing in june if i don't even know what i'm doing next week? anyways, i find myself torn. i want adventure. i want big changes and new experiences. i want to move to a new place and allow myself to grow up and mature outside of any safe bubble. however, the comfort and security of houston or austin is also appealing. being known and safe in an environment. having a guaranteed job and some sort of network of people in place.

i feel like reese witherspoon in sweet home alabama... that sounds real lame. my life would be great in a new place. i am sure of that. it would be hard and challenging, but i trust i would find a sweet sense of independence and boldness. but home fits too. being able to go somewhere and people already knowing your name. no explanations of the past needed. comfort.

i realize no decision is needed right now. i just wish the questions would stop. don't think i'm not preparing though. i'm keeping up with my options... with several non-profit job websites bookmarked, plenty of yl connections, and school connections, i know there is a job in an environment that is just right for me. i don't feel as if its my decision though. i'm considering god's plan in this too. so when people ask my plans for after college, my recent response has become, "i'm not sure yet. guess it depends which state god puts me in."

sisterly bonding

saturday, august 2, 2008 is a day to go down in anderson sister history. we started the day in league city and spent the morning visiting trisha and baby tanner in the hospital. we left around 11 because my sister needed to be at the austin airport around 2:30 for her flight back to florida. about fifteen minutes before we got to the airport, orbitz customer service called to tell her that her flight was delayed for 3 hours meaning she would miss her connecting flight in atlanta (the last one of the day). after another phone call to delta, she was rescheduled for a 5:30 am flight on sunday so she didn't have to spend the night in atlanta. we finally got to my house around 3:30, sat down, and thought of something to do for the night. which led to us getting in the car an hour later to head to fort worth for a surprise engagement party! we left forth worth at midnight, heading straight for the austin airport, where i dropped my sister off at 3:45 am for her 5:30 flight! we called our mom at some point in the trip. she told us we were crazy for spending so much time in the car in one day. my sister's response... "you're just jealous because you had brothers." :)

weekend o'fun!

this past weekend, i truly experienced summer in austin, texas. i took advantage of the sights and attractions with some great friends and had a blast!

it all started thursday night: dinner and drinks at 219 west with my dobie girls followed by some downtown fun now that we are all finally 21!

friday brought work for 7 hours... then a fun party at my sister's professor's house. sounds lame, but it was actually a good time. then dinner at matt's el rancho and downtown again.

saturday was a whole day of sunshine and fun. 10 of us spent the day on lake georgetown tubing, wakeboarding, and enjoying the incredible day. afterwards, half of us went to dinner and just talked for a while.

sunday i woke up and got ready for my first gospel brunch experience at stubb's! sooo fun! then some time shopping and hanging out. we finished the night watching beauty and the beast on a blanket at zilker park. which, btw, is amazing!

my sister and grad school friends leave austin on saturday. that's weird. it'll be sad... they've been my entertainment all summer. :)

important things to do in life:

1. get married on a beach...barefoot 2. go back to hawaii (it would be okay if #1 and #2 were combined.) 3. see all 50 states. (23 down, 27 to go) 4. go to australia, costa rica, and spain and lots of other tropical island destinations 5. backpack through europe 6. raise bilingual kids 7. get a tattoo after graduating college. 8. spend a new years eve in times square ...more to come.

Psalm 69

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.

2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.

3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.

5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.

6 May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.

13 But I pray to you, O LORD,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.

14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.

15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.

16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.

17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.

18 Come near and rescue me;
redeem me because of my foes.

19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
all my enemies are before you.

20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.

29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.

30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.

31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.

32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!

33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.

34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,

35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;

36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there.

"its not worth it."

"its not worth it." i can't keep track of how many times i've heard or said those words this semester. that the sin in life just isn't freakin worth it. its not worth the momentary feelings of satisfaction for the separation from god that follows. its not worth each individual fight to understand mercy and grace. its not worth jeopardizing our walk with christ. its not worth setting yourself up for worldly struggles that we were not created for. i know the sin in me has been used for huge amounts of growth and learning hard lessons. which is something that cannot be replaced. and something to appreciate in retrospect. but in those moments where we blatantly choose sin and lies over truth, that its just not worth it. not one bit.

ACRES OF HOPE

ACRES OF HOPE

by Shane Barnard and Robbie Seay

He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her out
To wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don’t look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called me master
And though you’re in the dark here
Call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley’s up ahead
Or the ones we live
We’ll sing together
We’ll sing together

We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Lord, sustain me in the valley. Give me ears to hear Your sweet tender voice and lead me in to acres of hope in this dry and weary land.

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. ‘In that day,’ declares the LORD,’you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master. (Hosea 2:14-16)

pretty woman

"people put you down enough, you start to believe them." -julia roberts, pretty woman. i struggle with self-worth. that's what i've got right now.

"enjoy hell. -paul"

yea those potential downfalls i was talking about... found one. but i don't want to get into it. the sermon about accepting god's call from one of the last sundays in december at stone keeps replaying in my head. i keep hearing matt say that paul's next letter to corinth should have just said "enjoy hell. -paul" i keep feeling like i did in that moment... like i should just get a letter like that. because of my inadequacy. my unworthiness. my selfishness. my stubborness. my prideful nature. why do i have to push all the limits and fall and feel the hurt to know that there's good? where did this rebellious, reckless, and feisty side of me come from? and how does almost every fiber of me want what i know i shouldn't? its not okay. not. okay. how can i change my heart? simple, i can't. god can. got it. pleeeeeease god, change it. i want to want what's truth. i want to want goodness. i want to want to listen to all the warnings i get from everyone who cares about me. i want to not want to push any more limits. i want to not worry everyone who cares about me. i want freedom. i want to not hold back. i want to live fully each day. with joy and excitement. with the peace of christ. with the assurance that he's got my back. and i will. lord willing, i most definitely will.

fresh start

its a new semester. and i'm starting fresh... going to classes, cutting back on hours at work, being joyful about serving phi lamb, even going out with friends. yes the semester already has its potential downfalls, but those can't be the focus. they've just got to be something to keep in the back of my mind to watch out for. but i'm focused on the good. my heart is a little scared that the hurt of last fall will return, but i'm more confident in having a better semester now than i ever really have been.

i know there are still areas to grow, struggles to go through, hurt to feel, and tears to cry. but i also trust in the joy and excitement, the peace of christ, and the laughter of happy hearts. this semester's gonna be full of it all and that's okay. once again, i say no expectations. except this time, i'm gonna try to trust in the lord instead of going at it all blindly.
ready or not, here we go!!